A Bachelor’s Best Friend - III

Let us now move our focus to some ‘originally’ Indian content. When one is alone and not really on a ‘high’, a joint of desi comedy is always a welcome relief. Yes, the reference here is to the series “Comedy Circus” and its other affiliated cousins. The positive of the show is that it has given birth to a good number of comedy stars who continue to bring a few laughs in our otherwise sadistic lives. Of course, a comedy show that it is, its biggest star happens to be not the participants or the judges or even the anchors, but a very unlikely candidate in the form of Surinder paaji – the chic wielder of the tabla! If the comedy shows were to be a Ram Gopal Varma movie, then Surinder would be without any doubt, the central character i.e. blood/ghost, depending upon the genre! That brings us to the irrefutable conclusion that with a turban-brandishing Sardar, nothing is impossible! Then there is the ever consistent judge Archana Puran Singh – her laughter remains the same whether there is a joke or not! Given the kind of jokes that have been made on her, she may have to actually undergo a sex-determination examination, just to be sure herself. Then there is Rohit Shetty who himself recycles PJs and KJs in his movies, yet finds it difficult to laugh at other’s jokes. And not to forget Shekhar Suman who finds himself in an identity crisis these days. Contrary to what his perceived image of an untiring playboy (not ‘boy’ exactly) would connote, the poor guy had to actually join a dance show to get a girl! Thanks to the comedy show in particular, Indian audiences have finally embraced the idea of anchors having talents other than anchoring. Not to mention the need for participants to engage in cross-dressing to generate laughter – a definite means of expression for the gay community in a society that is hell bent on making their lives even more miserable than it already is!

Then there is the case of movie superstars stepping away from the silver screen to the idiot box for short interludes in an effort to bring their 70 mm charisma to our TV sets. The result – while the viewer is promised the Eiffel Tower, we end up with a Chinese knock-off toy of the Eiffel tower or worse – a local non-biodegradable plastic replica of the same! With varying degrees of success, superstars and stars-in-the-making have burnt their fingers in the television world. With the rare exception of Kaun Banega Crorepati, similar superstar shows have provided nothing more than fodder to be played and replayed in C-grade news channels and India TV/India Live (the Death Eaters of the television world). Of course, there is Bigg Boss, where the lesser the words and analysis, the better it is for maintaining ones sanity. Human beings aren’t manufactured any dumber than Dolly Bindra, Rahul Mahajan and some of the other previous ‘inmates’ of the house. In fact, if one were to browse through the entire list of Bigg Boss contestants and pick the dumbest 11 in a team, India would retain the Dumbest Homosapiens World Cup trophy for the next decade, at least!

Not to forget another seasonal diet of the poor singleton – sports! A guy cannot call himself a ‘man’ if he hasn’t at some time enjoyed the adrenalin rush from WWE. You see, just because Santa Claus isn’t real, do kids stop asking Santa to bring them gifts for Christmas? A big NO! So is the case with wrestling. Then there are these other seasonal fruits in the form of Football, Tennis, Hockey and Badminton (a recent development in the light of the blossoming Saina). Of course, a national religion that it is, let’s not miss out on mentioning the source of the bulk of the nutritional fibre – cricket. If not for anything else, I make it a point to watch them at least to partake of the nuggets of wisdom from the one and only Sherry Paa! Digesting them is a completely different ball game though! With the exception of Albert Einstein if he were alive, who else could so comprehensively summarize the recently held IPL 4 Auctions in so few words – “There were two things in abundance in the auction room: ignorance and stupidity.” End of discussion.

PS: Though I do not necessarily consider it as a TV show, I feel obliged to make a brief reference to another program for the simple reason that I cannot really classify it into any specific category. This ‘bitter gourd’ happens to be ****** Ka Insaaf (the same She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named). Much as I would like to hate this double-breasted silicone chicken, I find it occasionally tempting to mentally jerk off to this program. If there is a God above, he/she will be frantically repenting for this major boob (slip-up) in creation. And God that he/she is, I would hope that this costly mistake is certainly not repeated. Anyway, in a welcome relief from the TV set, I have a heavenly representative from the Middle East waiting for me, hidden in the ‘Bhajan’ subfolder of the ‘Spiritual’ folder under the ‘Personal Documents’ of my friend’s laptop. Happy Bachelorhood! So eat healthy, sleep healthy and more importantly watch healthy! Adios.